ManCHALLENGE!

Webmaster here.

So our boy Adam received a nice little write-up in a local internet publication. Metromix Des Moines. They provide information on local things, like local events, local bars and local food. Which brings us to this link:

My meaty link.

Named after Adam Emmenecker, the star of Drake’s 2008 basketball team and MVP of the Missouri Valley Conference, this monstrous sandwich – weighing in at just shy of five pounds – includes a touch of almost everything on the menu and costs $19.95.

Five pounds? Gut busting. They even have a picture to prove they actually weighed it (for those of you who don’t always trust the media).

Look. We did what we said we did.

Hopefully they weighed the plate first, zeroed out the scale, and then added the copious amounts of fried meat, cheese and bun. Because that’s how a scientist would do it.

Sadly, they didn’t write this article just because Adam is awesome. Neigh, it was written in hopes that the TV show Man vs. Food would come to Des Moines. In the show, the Man (most likely the same man) tries to eat food. Most likely different foods, and lots of it. Hence the name. Because it’s a battle.

Metromix has put The Emmenecker up as the preeminent oversized Des Moines food. Great. I’m sure The Emmenecker could hold it’s own in many cities. (I’m looking at you, Peoria.)

But, here’s where the story gets more interestinger. They claim, and I quote:

…even the biggest of guys has to take part of it home in a doggy bag. Adam Emmenecker himself occasionally orders the sandwich, and has managed to finish it a few times.

Woooah. Back the three-point line up. First of all, does this mean Adam is the only human to ever finish his sandwich? Because if so, my stomach begs to differ. Ten times. And while Adam has never smelled–nevermind tasted–a sandwich better than his, let’s set the facts straight. Adam ate the whole thing one time. The first time. Because he is a man, and men eat their own sandwich. This ensures dominance over the food and anyone who tries to challenge the sandwich. How many times has he finished it since the maiden voyage? Agga. That’s point guard for zero. As in never.

The man is in training. To be a professional athlete. Do you know what kind of damage eating that whole thing would do? It would set his body back days, if not weeks. It’s like doing two-a-days twice a day before noon–and then getting run over by a minivan on your way to the locker-room.

But, the bottom line is this: Adam has eaten it, and can do it again. So, this here Webmaster offers a challenge. A challenge to Metromix, and to the TV Man.

Bring Man vs. Food to Des Moines. Take on not just The Emmenecker, but Adam Emmenecker. That’s right. A face-off of gastronomic proportions. If our Adam wins, the TV Man (also named Adam) has to wear Adam’s Drake jersey on TV. If TV Adam wins, we can get him a sandwich named after him at Jethros.

Your move, Eating Man.

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